All change

Well, it's been a funny few weeks here. I left my old job on 12th September and a week later started my new one.

I lasted four days.

It became apparent to me almost immediately that I was not going to be right for the job. It was not going to be the job I thought it was and so, after getting incredibly stressed out and having a bit of a meltdown, I told them I couldn't do it. That was the hardest thing to do.

I felt completely awful and like a total let down and a fraud. I tried so hard to convince myself to keep going and hope it would get better but my gut instinct said otherwise. I had to listen to my instincts as otherwise I was going to make myself ill.

And so it is that I am now without work and more scarily without a salary but somehow I feel more relaxed and happier than I have for years. Mr Moog has been incredible, a real tower of strength. He knows I haven't been coping for a while and saw how anxious I got with the new job. So, we've decided I'll take a bit of a break, get my ducks back in a row and then see what happens.

In my heart, I know that I want to work for myself and get my business going. I've been making steps in the right direction.

I've been making these little wash-bags for an order for Enchanted Plants and have an order for a big batch of lavender sachets. 

I've also put together some proposals for a series of workshops that I hope to start running after Christmas.

I have a list as long as my arm of projects to make, with a view to dusting off the shelves in my Etsy shop and maybe even opening up a Folksy store. My mind is buzzing with creative plans and ideas and it feels so good!

It feels like I've got me back again!

I've been enjoying spending time on Instagram and getting back in touch with the big wide craft world out there. Mr Moog was worried I'd be bored or lose my confidence being at home, just me and my Moogs but every day simply flies by and the interaction with friends via text and Instagram mean I'm never lonely.

So, for now I'm going to see how it goes, make a real effort to get my business going and give myself a chance to breath and get over the stresses of September.

This blog post has taken forever to write, especially as I know many of you already know about the work thing from Facebook and IG but I wanted to write it. It's part of the process of drawing a line under recent events and looking forward to a future full of possibility.

Hugs and huge thanks to all of you dear friends who've been so kind and supportive.

Onwards and upwards!

love Moogs xx

Kingley Vale

It's amazing how sometimes doing something as simple as going for a family walk to a lovely place on a beautiful sunny and cold day can totally recharge the batteries and set you up for the week ahead.

We've all had a busy weekend and really should have gone kitchen shopping today but when we awoke to a glorious clear and frosty morning we just had to get out there. So, after a morning of pottering we had a quick lunch and then piled into the car and headed east.

Our destination of choice was Kingley Vale, a National Nature Reserve and one of the biggest natural yew forests in Western Europe. The trees here are incredible - some over 2000 years old, making them among the oldest living things on Earth.

These gnarled and twisted ancient trees give the place such a spiritual feel, really connecting you to the earth. These trees have stood here since Roman times, through the Norman invasion and the massive changes of the Industrial Revolution - this really fills me with awe. If only they could talk!

As we walked through the most ancient grove of yew trees we could hear the sound of chanting, and there sitting on a low branch of one of the biggest trees was a man, chanting and meditating, complete with josticks, the scent of which only added to the spirit of the woodland. I could totally understand someone wanting to meditate here - I could not think of a more perfect place.

The yew trees grow through the vale and up the steep slope to the chalk grassland at the top of the downs. We enjoyed a strenuous climb up the slope, serenaded by a pair of buzzards calling, and were rewarded with stunning, far-reaching views from the top, looking right across Chichester harbour and over to the eastern tip of the Isle of Wight.

At the top of the slope, the path takes you around the hillside to two ancient burial mounds. A large family group had laid claim to the first mound and while the parents chatted the children quite literally threw themselves into a long game of roly-polys (as we call it) - rolling down the sides of the mound, getting delightfully filthy and rosy cheeked in the process.

I was surprised my two didn't give it a go, as they usually love a roly-poly! Instead, we all stood atop the second mound and soaked in the views and filled our lungs with the fresh, clean air and it felt truly good to be alive. My very nearly teenage boy, who hadn't even wanted to go for a 'stupid walk' rewarded me with a great big beaming smile.

Our walk continued around the hill and down the other side of the vale, through younger yew woodland and then back along the farm tracks to the car. Before we set out Mr Moog had decided to pack a flask and some teabags and we were so glad he did, because getting back to the car and a hot cup of tea was absolutely the best way to round off a truly special afternoon.

Then, as the sun started to sink, we took a gentle drive home and arrived back to a delicious dinner all ready in the slow-cooker. We were treated to a fabulous pud too, as Minx had opted to make Saturday pudding on Sunday - white chocolate and strawberry cheesecake. Delicious. I had to try a bit, for quality control purposes.

Hope you've had a lovely weekend.

Moogs xx

...and about time too!

Goodness me, the gaps between my blog posts seem to be getting bigger and bigger! I haven't ventured into blogland for weeks and have no idea what any of my lovely virtual friends are up to. I have frittered away many hours lurking around on Ravelry, however, so maybe it's time to get back in touch with what you're all up to.

I've had quite a few bad days just recently, feeling very low and not wanting to face the world and yesterday it finally dawned on me what all this was about. It's a little thing called grief. I allowed myself to take stock and think back over the past few months and I realised it's perfectly okay and normal to feel this way.

I think we all feel we should just be able to dust ourselves off and get on with things all the time - I know I do and I know I really irritate myself when I give into the glums. Yesterday I let myself work through it and I'm feeling like a cloud or two is starting to drift away.

There's still lots of lifecrap to deal with - work is once more hugely uncertain thanks to two more council reviews which seem more likely to result in our jobs going than the last one, and I have another funeral to attend. My cousin's husband - a really wonderful man - passed away last week after a short but brave battle with prostate cancer. I reckon that'll be enough funerals for one year, they're not something I'd like to make a habit of.

Knitting has been sustaining me through all this. No photos today but I've got several pairs of socks on the go - I don't know what I'd have done without my sock knitting!

Also for the first time in I don't know how long, I've actually done some sewing. Minx has had a couple of birthday parties to go to lately and I was a bit low on funds, so I decided to get making - bags of course :o)



Bright and cheerful and cool enough for trendy ten year olds - at least that was Minx's verdict!

Merlin Moog is doing great. Growing by the minute and being a model student with his training classes - just as you would expect from a super-intelligent Border Collie :o)



He now completely fills his 'cave'...


....and has started to really make himself at home!



We were having big problems on our walks, as little man was terrified of cars but slowly and surely we're making progress and each day he becomes a little more confident and a little more relaxed. He's turning out to be a fantastic little dog and is doing a grand job of trying to fill Moog's very special shoes :o)

I'm now looking forward to a relaxing evening, catching up on some very overdue blog reading.

Love Moogs xxxx

Full circle?

Things on the work front are still unclear but the more we hear, the more likely it is that our contracts won't be renewed at the end of March. We should know a little more before Christmas.

This uncertainty, coupled with all the usual life stuff and then a stinky heavy cold (and a MASSIVE scare when I thought I might be pregnant! - I'm not!!!), has forced me into my shell a little of late.

When I started this little blog, I'd just gone through a very unexpected life-changing year and was spending time at home. I was lucky enough to have a whole year at home discovering and exploring my creativity, inspired and supported by my new-found 'imaginary' friends in blogland, until I found a great little job and returned once more into the big wide world of work.

Now, I feel things may be about to come full circle. With the knowledge that my job may end, I've been exploring the jobs market........and the stalls seem to be pretty bare and uninspiring or at least not conducive to family life as we like it.

Once the initial panic wore off, my naturally positive inner voice took over and I'm slowly but surely formulating a plan. A working for myself type plan. A working for myself doing what I love type plan. A plan which, when explained to Mr Moog met with a most unexpected thumbs up!

So, if the new year does see the end of my job, I'll be ready with my plan.

In the meantime, I'm getting through notebooks at a startling rate!

Now for a little bit of a Moog family update.

- After worrying us all sick, my Dad seemed to rally again and is a little better.

- Mr Moog is going through the motions of organising wrist surgery, hampered by much to-ing and fro-ing with insurers. Grrrr.

- This little-old-lady Moog had a visit to the V.E.T, thanks to problems walking. Arthritis has set in and her back legs were starting to give way. At the grand old age of 15, these things are to be expected and up to now she's been a remarkably healthy little puppers.

She's now on anti-inflammatory drugs and, as of yesterday, has started having swimming lessons....or 'hydrotherapy' as it's otherwise known. She did brilliantly and did five whole laps of the pool, surprising not only herself but also the hydrotherapist! Everyone at the pool fell in love with her and no-one could believe how old she was, so she also got a much needed ego boost and a kiss on the nose :o)

Today, she is mostly snoring.

xxx

Hello!

I'm shocked to see it's nearly a month since my last confession I last blogged. That month has disappeared in a fog.

Moogsdad is very nearly back to his version of normal.

My poor Dad has frightened us all witless several times. He's been in hospital since 23rd March and was all set to go home three weeks ago, when he developed a serious infection and went into heart failure.

He's amazed everyone by fighting off the infection and the heart failure. The man has the most amazing inner strength! Where he goes from here is still unclear as he's still not a well man, his mobility has decreased dramatically and we may need to broach the dreaded subject of nursing homes.

I've spent some of the past few weeks up and down the motorway visiting him and my lovely brother and family. I guess that's why there was no 'me' left for blogging.



We managed to combine a little family camping trip with a bit of hospital visiting last week. The first part of the week was spent in sunny Dorset, where we squeezed in a trip to Monkey World.

My favourite bit was walking through the woodland where beautiful lemurs were 'free range'.

My least favourite bit was the anxious gibbon who pee'd over the glass front of his cage and then proceeded to sit on a branch and eat his own poo!!

The latter part of the week was spent at a campsite on the outskirts of Birmingham, where we admired the sunset, and spent the loveliest evening having a barbeque with my brother and his family.



So, although it's been a very crappy few months, things have levelled out a little. We're feeling relaxed after our week away and ready to face the next load of lemons that life throws our way.



Image blatantly stolen from here

Crafty activity has all but ground to a halt.

However, as of today a load has lifted.

I've finally (hopefully...depending on my manager's verdict) completed the stinky 5000 word report for the work course I did way back in January. After being given an extended deadline twice due to all the crubbish going on in Moogshouse, I have finally...once and for all....at last...written the darned thing!!

I can give the left side of my brain a rest for a while.

It's (fingers oh so very crossed) time to get creative!!

xxxxx